Word Vomit (2)

my second word vomit. sometimes, throwing up words is refreshing. i feel calmer because i’ve released the annoying bacteria on paper and it doesn’t nestle in my stomach anymore, biting me. scratching me. like vomit, my words here aren’t very pretty. and that’s okay, because sometimes not everything in life is pretty.

life. i felt so happy a couple of days ago when i felt like i discovered the meaning of it. maybe it’s a phase of mine, and tomorrow i won’t feel the same. but right now, i feel peaceful because i’m content with my discovery.

it happened when i finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie. it’s a good book. lots of great life advice, but not many things i haven’t heard about. anyway, i was at a laundromat with my family, folding clothes. it was a typical sunday afternoon. when i finished folding my little sister’s yellow “i mustache you a question” shirt, i realized i agreed with morrie. i understood that one of our purposes here on earth is to “love and be loved”.

there are many things morrie discussed. family. guilt. marriage. but, for some reason, i understood “love and be loved” the best. what is the one thing that the poor and rich can do? what exists before and after death? what is the world’s most abundant resource? what makes us feel happy and what makes us feel angry? what can’t we live without? Love. it’s so simple. and for me, it’s true. maybe that’s why it’s so cliché, because others have discovered it too. Love. whats makes us see, hear, and speak although we are blind, deaf, and mute. everyone, from all walks of life, love. everyone, from all walks of life, are loved. when we don’t love, we are unhappy. when we aren’t loved, we are unhappy.

or maybe it’s just me and this is a generalization. but i feel happy knowing that i am fortunate to have the chance to love, that i am here on earth where love is in our flowers, families, foods, trees, lovers, oceans, ourselves, and friends. love, like energy, cannot be created or destroyed—it is inside us, it is what makes us laugh and cry and think about that person who cut me off while driving— why didn’t that person love me? why didn’t they understand that they could’ve hit my car, scratched it, and i would have had to pay so much money to get it fixed?

i hope this word vomit makes sense to you. sometimes it’s hard for me to convey these sort of thoughts to others. i also hope you are having a wonderful day or night. 🙂 at the moment, peace is love, and maybe it is or can be for you too.

2 thoughts on “Word Vomit (2)

  1. I love the metaphor you used in the beginning. Words don’t always have to be pretty. I think different subjects call for different styles and prose.

    I agree with you that love is very important. The love of friends has helped me a lot in dealing with my health issues, and I’ve been married to my husband for seven years. I got married at 22 and I feel lucky that we’re still in love despite the hardships we’ve had. The love I have for my kitties is also important. They are a reminder to smile at least once a day. Love can be simple but it can also be complicated. I would say the love my husband and I have is complicated. I was bedbound for the past three years. I’ve had three hip preservation surgeries that he’s helped me through. I’m doing better now, but it will take a long time for me to recover. I am not the same person he fell in love with and married in many ways. I’ve declined physically but I have grown a lot as a person. I think love often changes in relationships and evolves as we change. The relationship I have with my parents is complicated. They say try love me but I’m tired of the emotional and verbal abuse. The love I have for my cats is simple. It’s an overwhelming need to make them happy.

    I’ve never read the book Tuesdays with Morrie, but my sister did, and she really liked it.

    I’m glad you have love in your life and it makes you happy 🙂 I think that’s what love should do.

    • Thank you for your kind thoughts 🙂 And I agree that as we change, so does our love and how others love us. I believe that life is a collection of phases–some phases are longer than others and some phases are much shorter. Love is part of those phases, too. Our “true love” at one point of our lives could have been, in that we perhaps were suppose to meet that person and invest the energies that we did and learn from that person (this is an example of how I think the phases I’m talking about work). And it’s so interesting, how things like love are complicated, like you said, but simple at the same time. Life is full of paradoxes. I also think that it’s a good thing that you chose to give you and your parents space because they were causing you so much harm. It takes great strength to do that. It’s important to have those who are close to us to make us happy. I’m glad you have people who spark your happiness 🙂 Thank you for sharing and reading my post, it is much appreciated. 🙂 xx

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